WHAT I LOST IN MEXICO

Our time at Hostel Quetzal in Cancun was very short.  We got only about four hours of sleep, and that wasn't very sound as music was once again blaring from the "beach bar" down the block.  Apparently they were open all night long, because the music was still playing when we got up and left before it was light out on Saturday morning (7/21).  We had hoped to see Monica Moray, the hostel's owner and "International Performance Artist" again, but our stay there was so short this time we missed her.

While we were checking out a taxi pulled up in front and a rather intoxicated young man got out and came inside.  He announced that the cab driver had taken 20 minutes to get there, as he was driving around looking for prostitutes.  "But I don't want to have sex with ugly prostitutes", he announced to us.  "I want to have sex with pretty girls!"  And I am sure the pretty girls are longing for him as well . . . As we were loading up the car, he came out and asked if we knew where there were any good strip clubs.  I told The Doctor later we should have sent him to the Adonis resort in Tulum . . .

In the process of getting our things in the car I discovered I had lost my shoes somewhere along the way.  I remembered carrying them in my hands when we left our room at Adonis the day before, but apparently I set them down somewhere between the room and the car, as they were now no where to be found. I just had my sandals.

We found the airport without too much trouble and stopped to return the car at the Budget rental office.  The man came out and looked the car over and asked where the hub caps were.  Both The Doctor and I were pretty certain there had been no hub caps on the car when we rented it, but the man showed us that the box had been checked off on the rental agreement stating that there were hub caps on the car when we took it.  We both looked through the photos on our cameras, and The Doctor found one that he had taken shortly after we arrived at Hostel Quetzal on our very first day showing the car with no hub caps.  Granted, this was a few hours and a stop at Walmart after we had rented the car, but at least it was something.

The man - who was simply doing his job - kept insisting he had to go by what was checked off on the agreement.  I think it would have cost us about $75.00 to pay for the hub caps, and if it were me I would have just paid it and left.  But The Doctor was holding firm, and the Budget guy wasn't going to back down either.  He said he knew some cars on their lot didn't have hub caps, but he didn't know which ones, and he had to go by what was checked off on the agreement.  He said his manager did know which cars were missing the hub caps, and she would be able to clear it up, but she wouldn't be in for another couple hours, which would be cutting it dangerously close to our flight.  The Doctor asked him to call her at home.  He was hesitant at first, but he finally called her.  She told him he would have to check past agreements on our car to see what they said.  These were kept in another office just across the lot, so he had to go there to look at them.  When he came back he was beaming, and said we were all set.  I am sure he was just as glad to resolve the situation as we where.   I made sure to thank him for checking out the other forms, and The Doctor did also.

He drove us and two other people to the terminal.  We checked in and went through security without any problems.  The weight limit for checked bags was 50 lbs, and my steamer trunk came in at 48.5, just barely under the limit. 

After we went through security, I went to the bathroom, and shortly discovered that I had managed to get Montezuma's revenge.  It hit very suddenly, and once in the bathroom I was afraid I wouldn't make it to the toilet in time.  Once everything was out of my system, I seemed to feel better, and I went out and ate a little breakfast with The Doctor.  We stopped at the gift shop where The Doctor picked up a few more things and then we found our gate.

Our flight to Houston was thankfully uneventful.  We made it through customs and immigration without any trouble, and then had to go through security again to get to our next gate.  There they used one of the full body scanners, and as I came out a large black security guard told me he liked my look - my shaved head and goatee and pierced ears, etc.  Then he promptly asked what I had in my pockets.  I had taken everything out except for a bandanna in my back pocket, which I took out and showed him.  He scanned me again, and then said he was going to have to pat me down.  Some nice compliments AND a frisking!  Who could ask for more?  He didn't find anything and sent me on my way. 

The Doctor was having his own problems with his carry on bag.  Something suspicious had shown up in it, so they had to open it and look through it.  He had a couple of wooden type percussion sticks, some kind of musical instrument he had picked up at the gift shop in the Cancun airport, and they had shown up on the x-ray machine.  Once the security guard looked them over, he let him pass.
I had another episode of Montezuma's Revenge at the Houston airport.  We had a six hour lay over there.  The airport is named after the first President Bush, and that was the last place I wanted to spend six hours, but having gone through security already we were pretty much stuck there.  After my trip to the bathroom, we went to the food court.  I went to a Mexican place and ordered an enchilada plate.  The girl at the counter promptly asked me if I was vegetarian, and when I said that I was she went on to explain that the enchiladas were OK, but the rice and beans were both prepared with meat.  She said she would give me black beans instead of the re-fried beans.  I don't know if she asks everyone the vegetarian question, but I appreciated her asking me.

The Doctor got something at a Chinese place, where he said he had more trouble communicating with the counter people than he had had anywhere in Mexico.  There was some sort of confusion over the change that took forever and two people to figure out. 

Shortly after I ate, I started feeling very cold.  The Doctor is the one who is always cold, and he was fine, so I figured it might have something to do with the Montezuma's Revenge.  I couldn't seem to warm up at all.  I put my bandanna on my head to help retain a little body heat, and after awhile I took the Juego De Pelota beach towel out of my bag and used it as a throw to try to get warm.  A woman from United Airlines walked by and saw me, and came over and asked "What are you wearing?"  The towel was mostly a tan color and she thought it was a some kind of deer skin shammy with intricate art work on it.  The Doctor was quite amused by this.  I still had the chills, and I finally ended up going to the gift shop and buying a red sweat shirt that said HOUSTON on it. 

When we got on the plane I was still cold so I dug out a pair of white athletic socks from my bag and put them on under my sandals.  Not very fashionable, but it helped warm up my feet.  I was in the middle seat, with The Doctor at the window and a woman to my left.  It took some maneuvering to get the socks on, and I had to put my feet over on The Doctor's side to complete the task.  The woman next to me told me I did a good job, and I told her I figured she would rather I do it on his side and not hers, for which she thanked me.

At the airport I read a little in my guide book about Traveler's Diarrhea, and I told The Doctor on the plane that the book said diarrhea could also be an indicator that I had cholera.  He said what I had was hypochondria.  I told him he should ask the guy who was in the stall next to me at the airport bathroom if HE thought I had hypochondria, as I was pretty sure he would agree that I most certainly did not.

Luckily I didn't have any Montezuma episodes on the plane, and we made it to Boston without any problems.  We got off the plane and I claimed my steamer trunk, and The Doctor walked me to where I had to wait for the Knight's Limo van.  We said our good-byes there, and he went off to wait for his ride. 

The van came after several minutes.  There was another couple on it who had just returned from Europe.  They were headed in the opposite direction from my destination, so I was dropped off in Framingham and got on another van that took me home.  When I got home and walked in the door, there were the sunglasses that I had bought for my trip sitting right where I had left them . . .

Montezuma's Revenge stayed with me for a few days, and I took my first day back off from work, just as a precaution as I wasn't sure how bad it might get and I didn't want to have to be running in and out of the courtroom every few minutes.  Luckily it never got that severe.

A day or two after my return home, I discovered I had lost the USB cable for my new camera, which I needed to charge it and to download pictures to my computer.  I was using it on the plane, so I must have lost it there.  I was able to get a replacement for it at Staples.  But for those who are keeping track, here is a list of What I Lost In Mexico:

4 pairs of sunglasses
1 pair of shoes
1 camera
1 USB cable for the new camera
My ankles
The ability to produce a hard, well formed stool.

Luckily the last two have returned. 

And I've gone almost two weeks without having to buy a new pair of sunglasses . . .